I am what you might call ‘an endangered species’ or ‘a rare breed’, if you like. I’m pretty sure there aren’t many of us around, but to put it straight to you, I am 24 years old, living in LA and I am a VIRGIN!
I would also like to inform you that I have never been past first base. In other words, I have only ever kissed a guy. And the last time I lip-locked a man was FIVE years ago. Some could say (my body would say), I’m a “desert of depravity”.
But let's backtrack for you.
I grew up in New Zealand. Statistically speaking, this is a good country to be in as a teenager if you want to lose your V-card relatively young compared with the rest of the world. Also, it's common knowledge that some New Zealanders of a certain age group have a reputation for binge drinking. And with a beer in one hand, it seems our clothes have a stripper personality when at a university party.
I am not your typical Christian girl. As a teenager, I was not at home reading my Bible by candlelight on a Friday night. To the contrary, my Mom even threatened to ground me if I didn't go to a party. And here’s the dangerous bit. I’ve previously taken a personality test and discovered I’m 99% extraverted. So, as you can imagine, I was quite the socialite and accepted almost every party invite (although I must confess, I’ve still never been drunk).
Moreover, I went to an all-girls high school (thanks parents!), and this happened to be one of the strictest schools in the entire country. We were required to attend chapel three times a week, to wear a blazer and a tie, and to walk around in skirts that looked like someone had ripped down a curtain and wrapped it around our waists. It is no wonder the majority of the girls sought riveting sexual experiences at an early age! I proceeded to pick up horse riding and cross-fit to help burn off steam. Meanwhile, many of my close friends started to move up the “bases” until they hit a home run.
I live my life by two firm mottos which I still seek to uphold to this day. Firstly, go talk to the lonely person sitting in the corner. Secondly, no matter what someone says, do not judge them. Consequently, I was the unofficial counsellor at high school. I spotted a common theme among those I was “counselling”, and it became crystal clear to me that the ‘first time’ wasn’t all that was promised to be unless it was with someone you emotionally connected with. My mindset started to change. I believed the idea of a one-night-stand, though certainly not appealing to me, would never be under my microscope of consideration. I decided if I was ever to lose my virginity, it had to be with someone special. And for me, I decided that marriage is the definition of special.
So, I graduated from high school a sex expert, not in experience but in knowledge. Meanwhile, not a single friend of mine from high school graduated with their virginity intact (a few of them graduated pregnant). I started university and something new happened in my life; I got a boyfriend. Dating him was FUN and consisted of making out in the shower (with my bikini on, don’t worry). Not only was he a handsome surfer, but he also respected my body and my “no-sex before marriage” decision. Sadly, a year later we broke up because he moved to America, but my V-card still remained in the wallet of my heart.
Life went on, my heart healed from the breakup. I kissed a fighter pilot in Hawaii. I somehow managed to get kicked out of a club for being “too drunk” with my bestie, despite not a drop of alcohol in my blood whilst wearing a conservative turtleneck shirt (well, I was dancing on the tables and crowd surfing). I partied in Ibiza too (no, I didn’t take a pill, I avoid drugs). During the entirety of middle-school, my parents made me volunteer at an orphanage where the kids had been rescued out of the sex trade. Whilst hugging a young girl whose bright eyes hid a prison of experience, I was struck by the privileges I had in my own life. In that very moment, I made a self-declaration to pursue a lifestyle committed to liberating others. One year ago, I moved to Los Angeles to complete my Masters in Global Leadership and dated one too many guys but nothing too serious, although I have plenty of love letters from men who thought otherwise.
And now, here I am, a VIRGIN at the age of twenty-four. I share my story maybe to prove I’m not an A-class weirdo. I’m relatively normal (emphasis on relatively). I know that 24 is not insanely old, I don’t have anything on that 40-year-old virgin they made the movie about, but it is older than most people. According to a sex survey conducted by ABC, only 3% of Americans over the age of 18 still in possession of their v-card, and everyone knows that when you’re suffering through extra years of virginity, you multiply those years by seven (as in cat-years), so actually I was, like, a 59-year-old virgin, so that movie should have really been made about me.
On a side note: my virginity is not a badge of honour, rather it is a chosen lifestyle. I warn you, I am just as confused and messy as the next.
As time ticks by, my body’s desire to have sex seems to gradually build. It's also not that I’ve been short of offers to have sex, it’s that my answer has always remained the same. But why? Read the next journal.
I hope you enjoyed Journal One of this Four Part Series. Next Journal to be released 28 February, 2019
Journal of a Virgin