You're dating someone, and the chemistry is spicy, but you want to honor your decision to wait until you are married. So, what can and can't you physically do?! The answers range from no hand-holding to getting handsy.
Especially when you love someone, the lines can be blurred. But the lines you draw at the start will leave lasting marks on your relationship. In 2021, I went through a breakup, and I found freedom and healing far quicker than in past relationships. Why? Because we had strict boundaries and didn't create any soul ties. I walked away with so much respect for my ex. Boundaries can be frustrating to uphold, but they protect your future self from heartbreak and regret.
Firstly, knowing the right questions can help you avoid making the wrong decisions. It's NOT "what can we do?" but "how holy can we make this relationship?". It's NOT about "what can we do without repenting on Sunday," but "how can I honor the other person and Jesus in this relationship?"
When I was fourteen years old, I asked my mom, "How far is too far?". She said, "Riley, put the fence far enough away from the cliff so that even if you move the fence, you don't fall down the cliff." 🚧 In other words, put your boundary far enough away from sex so that you don't break the main rule if you do cross a line.
Consider this: in your ideal relationship, where is the fence? If you don't know, pray and ask God to convict you on healthy boundaries.
Now with that in mind, here is some practical advice:
Finally, remember it's not a NO. It's a NOT YET! Keep the end goal in mind. Be determined to bypass temporary intimacy for long-term love. One day, you'll wake up on a slow Sunday morning and look into your partner's eyes and… I need not say more 😉
You got this!!
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Journal of a Virgin